i killed that bitch

(9:28 start time. just put the hotdogs in the hotdog water.)

ruined her. ended her entire existence without once saying anything about her appearance. you might be wondering where you’ll buy your shitty chrissy teigen pans now… well, i can promise you that it won’t be at Target, Macy’s or Bloomingdales. the best part of this is that unlike alex jones, her fans (?) will not follow her. they will simply find another “just like us” celebrity to reply to.

i noticed a slight pain in my abdomen after walking my dog (wham!ilton) and it has increased significantly since. i was only able to eat 2.75 hot dogs before the pain became too much. i normally write while sitting down, but i have switched to laying on my back. i am going to vomit and expel this demon shortly. this is my flu game.

The Thoughts

  • update: it is 10:19. i just spent the last 15 minutes resting my head on the toilet seat. i have moved from the couch to the bed. will finish this one out in the morning.

insert the pain. tweet

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