“yeah, i took the summer off to get it right”

you know what i like to do for fun?

i am mean to my loved ones. that look on their face as someone they respect tears them apart really gets me going inside.

sometimes i go to the grocery store and ask people to buy me a case of beer. it’s a fun prank because i’m actually 31 years old, but look like a 14 year old (dick still big, though.)

sometimes i tell convincing lies. there’s a lot of fun to be had with this one.

gaslight. gatekeep. girlboss.

NIGHTMARE! NIGHTMARE! NIGHTMARE!

sometimes when talking to my friends, i will ask “can we still say *insert word*?” that i know we can’t say anymore.

topic change

yeah, bro, dating chicks is cool and all, but have you ever just hung out with the boys? no hoes, just dudes rockin? that’s what I want to do for the rest of my life. hang out with the guys watching baseball, crushing beers, and playing video games.

i’ll be honest here; i don’t understand socks. what’s the point? don’t give me that bullshit about it keeping your shoes clean/odor free. if you put clean feet into clean shoes, how would the shoes get dirty? if you have nasty forest troll feet i would understand, but i don’t. i would rather not have feet than wear socks every day. socks suck.

china spy balloon

what’s the deal here? someone please fill me in? does this have anything to do with stephon marbury and dwight howard? i sure hope not.

food

i’m going to talk about food here for a little bit. had a walking taco yesterday, and it made me think of foods i like and foods i don’t like. i’ve never had a walking taco that i didn’t like, but i came close yesterday. it came with lettuce in the bag. in the bag. lettuce is cool in a salad, but an unnecessary addition to most other things. making me eat lettuce involuntarily is like making me take a shower with my dad. sure, i’ll fucking do it, but i won’t enjoy it. anyway, i also don’t like ketchup. same goes for milk and raisins.

video games

Hogwarts Legacy is playable at midnight tonight, and i think i’m going to stay up. as I wait for the game to download and be playable, i am going to compile a list of my top 500 professional athletes of all time.