note: i started writing this on day one of the nfl draft. I am not going to change the title, as it took me a long time to decide on this one

EDIT: (this will not be a cohesive piece of writing; it’s just a collection of my thoughts over a period of several days. Some are just the beginning to jokes. Again, I don’t know why i’m like this)

Grilled Cheese Update

I quit after day 1. I don’t like grilled cheese. I really believed there was a way to make it better, but there’s no hope. I haven’t felt like this since Rascal Flatts’ farewell tour was cancelled.

addressing the rumors

i have never killed a woman. please stop saying that i have killed women. i have not. this isn’t to say that i couldn’t, though.

I’ve been taking the pill from limitless recently. (I thought i’d have something kind of funny to follow up with, but i’m running on half thoughts today)

I am very good at adapting to fit in with the people around me. As a result, I am getting dumber.

Can you still say “black magic”?

i still love baseball. might start playing.